


White Love

by phantomhive (phantom_hive)



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Angst, Drama, Eventual Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-22 21:44:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21309091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantom_hive/pseuds/phantomhive
Summary: Yuri thought that if Ryosuke did not want him, then he did not want him either.
Relationships: Chinen Yuri/Yamada Ryosuke
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	White Love

**Author's Note:**

> ALL BECAUSE OF THAT ONE IG STORY (҂⌣̀_⌣́)

_Fanservice._ While everyone else in JUMP thought that it was nothing but a complete façade to appease their fans, it had always left one man at sixes and sevens – Yuri. 

Though he had no problems in getting his act together when they provide it during performances and concerts, it had always been exceptionally hard for him when he had to do it with one of his members.

_Yamada Ryosuke._

Because just the sound of his name was enough to make Yuri tremble in both excitement and disgust.

_Excitement. _He did not know how or when it happened, he could not even try wrapping his head around it try as he might but every time he was in a same room as Ryosuke, he could not stop himself from staring. Hell, he would even find himself getting dizzy and completely out of his mind which goes on until he was lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling would he still find himself thinking about him. The fuzzy feelings were starting to get ridiculously overwhelming; and it was only a matter of time until the stress of it would take a toll on him.

_Disgust. _This emotion made much more sense than the former. Ryosuke was his bestfriend who legitimately exhibited a genuine friendship towards him and it was such an obscene thing for him to fall deliberately in love with him.

His disgust towards himself had only intensified during one of their rehearsals. He was about to enter the dressing room to grab his phone when he overheard Ryosuke and Yuto talking about _him. _

_”I’m starting to get uncomfortable in doing fanservice with Yuri.” _

He was not able to get his phone inside the dressing room, and his heart pounded heavily against his chest the same time the words kept ringing in his head.

Days went by and Yuri made a conscious effort to make it seem like he had heard nothing, like he did not know how uncomfortable he made the other feel. He would still talk to him, joke with him and laugh with him. Only now, he made sure he gave them enough distance. If he noticed that Ryosuke was being awfully close to him, he would take subtle steps away from him, occupy the space beside someone else and continue the conversation.

Another thing that Yuri addressed were the touches. Being the bestfriends that they were, skinship was _naturally_ a normal thing for them. From Ryosuke putting an arm over Yuri’s shoulder and Yuri resting his’ on the other’s waist to holding hands and to hugging- they were all innate, innocent actions that came along with their relationship. But now that Yuri was so sure of his feelings and Ryosuke’s impression towards him, he knew any form of physical contact had to end. He refrained himself from initiating the skinship and even when Ryosuke tried to hold him, he would avoid it by bringing both of his hands together and grin at him to make his motives less obvious. _If_ any form of contact happened _by mistake, _as Yuri would call it, he was quick to apologize as if he had done something wrong. He did not miss some of Ryosuke’s upset or confused looks but even though it squeezed his chest painfully, he knew that it just was not right anymore. So when one time he caught Ryosuke trying to reach out to him but only to pull back, it did not surprise him anymore.

As days went by and everyone got busy with their own schedules, Yuri was given enough time to contemplate about his feelings. Although living in the same building as Ryosuke’s made it a lot harder for him to forget about him. For a while, he even started considering of moving out.

Every other night, Ryosuke would call and invite him to eat dinner with him and as much as he tried to decline every single time, Ryosuke would only turn up at his door, bringing his favorite food. He could feel it, _they both do, _that there was some kind of tension hanging in the air and that Ryosuke was starting to get itchy to touch the subject but Yuri knew not to get into it. He wanted to preserve of what was left of them and confessing his feelings was the last thing he wanted to do.

Out of his desperate move to get away from Ryosuke, he formed a habit of bar hopping every night. It was not in his character to invite people but since he _needed _it, he took the courage to ask some of his friends to come with him. He never got himself wasted but he would not deny that he’d let himself drink as much as he was tipsy enough _to forget _and give him the boldness to sing and dance with his friends.

When he came home one night, he was puzzled to see a take-out food sitting so coldly in front of his door. It came with a short message, which said:

_“I kept ringing your doorbell and my phone is dead, I figured you were asleep so I’ll just leave this here. Eat it when you wake up. –Ryo.”_

Yuri took the food inside and typed a quick message to Ryosuke to thank him for the food but also explained that Ryosuke didn’t have to do it anymore, that if he wanted food he should get it for himself and that he didn’t have to waste his money on him anymore.

That night, just before shutting his eyes close, he received a text message from _“My Wallet”_

_“I’m not wasting anything; you know how I love buying things for you. And spoiling you.”_

Yuri replied, _“I know, but really, you should stop doing that and spend it on some more important things.”_

However, the next message wasn’t from his wallet anymore, it was now from “Yamada-san”.

_“You’re that ‘more important thing’. But okay.”_

It made him feel terrible to be doing this to his bestfriend and he knew that it is making Ryosuke feel more “uncomfortable” than he was before, however, he could not also bring himself to act like how they were before. Not when he is already getting used to shutting himself away from Ryosuke.

The next night, he booked a private karaoke lounge and invited Greg to come with him. At first, they only let the karaoke play in the background as they catch up with each other until Greg took the mic in his hands and sang one song that was followed by a series more.

“Can I make a request?” Greg asked as he flipped through the pages of the song list.

“Go on.” Yuri sipped from his cocktail and grabbed the mic, getting ready to sing.

“White Love?”

“Our song?”

“Yep. I love listening to it, and I’m not sure if I’d still be given a chance like this to hear it live from a member.”

Yuri chuckled, “Hit it then.”

The intro started playing and Yuri was able to hit the notes perfectly at the beginning, but towards the half of it, his pitch started to shake and sound more intoxicated which, on the contrary, made him enjoy singing more. Greg fished out his phone from his pocket and did some taps until his face showed on the screen. Yuri, in his peripheral vision, recognized that the phone was now angled towards him. He tried to hide his face through his hands but since he realized that he had failed himself miserably, he decided to just live the moment and even tilted his head towards Greg so they could both fit right in the frame.

After the song was finished, and Greg’s Instagram story was posted, Yuri’s phone that was sitting atop the table beside his drink lit up and displayed the caller.

_“Yamada-san”_

Confused at the sudden call, he picked up his phone and went outside the room to take it.

“Where are you?” From Yuri’s end, there was an underlying tone in Ryosuke’s voice that he could not quite grasp yet.

“At a private lounge.”

“Who are you with?”

“Just a friend.”

“A friend huh? You’ve been avoiding me, ignoring me and now you’re out there having fun with _a friend?_” Ryosuke sounded extremely displeased and threatening. Yuri almost dropped the call but he discerned that Ryosuke _wanted to_ _talk._

“It’s just Greg.”

“I don’t care whoever it is that you are with! I want to know what your problem with me is!” Yuri almost yelped at Ryosuke’s blaring voice and stuttered as he answered.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about? There’s nothing.” Yuri bit his lip and prayed that Ryosuke would end the call soon.

“Come home.” Ryosuke hissed but Yuri felt rather offended at how the man on the other line could order him just like that.

“No! Why would I? It shouldn’t matter to you! It shouldn’t matter where I go and who I go out with!”

“Are you coming home or I am coming to get you? Choose.”

“You know what? I’m hanging up.”

Yuri came back inside and found Greg looking up at him curiously, “Who was that?”

“No one important.” Yuri chuckled and settled himself beside Greg again. The phone call was just the right stimulus that made him even more absorbed with drinking and by the time they had to leave, Yuri had become a giggling mess.

As much as Greg wanted to drop Yuri off, his mother had sent him a text asking him to buy her some medicine for her hypertension and that only meant that he needed to be back as soon as possible. He took Yuri’s phone and called the last person on the call log.

Ryosuke hurriedly drove towards the Karaoke place and spotted Greg outside - supporting Yuri’s slumped and almost flaccid body. Ryosuke tried to hide his jealousy at most but his eyes expressed the flames as he took Yuri to his arms and despite his radiating bitternes, he did not forget to thank the man for calling him and looking out for Yuri.

“Ryosuke?” Yuri called in a high-pitched tone.

“We’re going home.” Ryosuke said and thankfully, Yuri was compliant as he was tucked inside the car, contrast to what Ryosuke had in mind. He visualized Yuri to be feisty and difficult but he was glad he turned out to be pleasant.

Yuri dozed off the whole ride and until they arrived at the building, he was still sound asleep. Ryosuke scooped him up and on their way up to Ryosuke’s place Yuri started to stir.

“Ryoo~osuke.” He giggled and ran a finger beside Ryosuke’s lips. “I thought I made you uncomfortable?~” He chuckled while he snuggled closer.

Ryosuke only frowned, completely perplexed at to what Yuri was trying to claim. He does not remember saying that because he’d never say it in the first place. _Unless…_

“I miss you, but I don’t want to be a burden to you.” Pouting, Yuri continued talking in his drunken state.

“And and I know you don’t like it when we do fanservice together that’s why I never did it with you again~” Yuri’s finger did not stop caressing Ryosuke’s skin.

Then Yuri’s lips broke into a sad smile, “And I’m trying to stay away as much as I can because it’s like killing two birds with one stone, you won’t be feeling uncomfortable with me again…and I would get over you.”

Ryosuke opted to stay quiet and let Yuri do all the talking until they got inside his room and Yuri was cozily draped against his comforters.

“What did you mean by that?” Ryosuke leaned down and asked in a whisper, however, Yuri could only respond with incoherent mumbles. Ryosuke’s eyes squinted at the sight of shining band that snuggly fit Yuri’s finger because that was their friendship ring and he thought Yuri did not give the slightest damn about it anymore.

But the thing is, Yuri kept wearing it when he went out, albeit the goal of forgetting, he wanted it to serve as a reminder as to why he continued with his night life.

“I heard you talking to Yutti…” This time, Yuri’s eyes were wide open and they were staring straight at Ryosuke’s.

“When was this?” A sigh came out from Ryosuke.

“You said you were starting to feel uncomfortable in doing fanservice with me.” Ryosuke dropped, sitting beside Yuri and brushing the hair that messily covered his forehead.

“Maybe you should have stayed longer if you were already eavesdropping so you’d know our conversation did not end there.” Ryosuke’s tone was now very much different from the phone call before, this time, it was gentle, it was sweet, and it was a lot more mind-altering than all the alcohol combined that Yuri had consumed tonight.

“I was getting uncomfortable because if I do it with so much cameras, with so much people watching us, I’m afraid the little control I have left will snap. I’d love to do more than just fanservice with you. I want to be able to hold you, hug you…and kiss you.”

Yuri gasped. “But we’ve already been doing all those, well, except for the last part.”

“As bestfriends. I don’t know if it’s too much to ask but I want you to see me more than that.”

“Are you- _did you just confess_?”

And without warning, Ryosuke crashed his lips against Yuri’s parted ones but pulled away when he felt Yuri stiffen under him in total bewilderment.

Yuri covered his lips with his hand as he looked at Ryosuke, and maybe it was just the alcohol kicking in again because the next thing he knew he pulled Ryosuke down for another searing kiss. After so long of concealing his desires, he can now freely express himself as he let Ryosuke’s muscle enter him and dance along the rhythm of their love.

“I love you.” Ryosuke muttered against his lips and even though Yuri wanted to answer him, he found it hard to speak when his lips kept being peppered with gentle kisses.

If Yamada Ryosuke would not let him talk, then he’ll just have let him know by capturing his lips one more time for another reunion. This time, it didn’t matter how messy it could get because he was ready for it and more so, he was contented to be where he is now, where he rightfully belonged.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in a span of 7 hours, I apologize for any ugly grammatical errors because I had not time to proofread. I gotta get back to my readings ASAP  
/slapped!!!!!  
TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT IT


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